Home | Mailing
List | Specifications | Care
and Feeding | Modifications | Vendors
Rules Men Wish AWA's Knew
Thanks to Kelley Osburn
- If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
- Learn to work the toilet seat: if it's up, put it down.
- Don't cut your hair. Ever.
- Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not quests to see if we can
find the perfect present once again.
- If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you
don't want to hear.
- Sometimes, we're not thinking about you. Live with it.
- Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss
such topics as wax worms vs. grubs, the shotgun formation, and carburetors.
- Sunday = Sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let
- Shopping is not a sport.
- Anything you wear is fine. Really.
- You have enough clothes.
- You have too many shoes.
- Crying is blackmail. Use it if you must, but don't expect us to like it.
- Ask for what you want. Subtle hints don't work.
- No, we don't know what day it is. We never will. Mark anniversaries on a
- Yes, whizzing standing up is more difficult than peeing from point-blank
range. We're bound to miss sometimes.
- Most guys own two to three pairs of shoes... what makes you think we'd be
any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with your
- "Yes" and "No" are perfectly acceptable answers.
- A headache that lasts for 17 days is a problem. See a doctor.
- Your Mom doesn't have to be our best friend.
- Films starring Barbara Streisand are rated GNO (Girls Night Out).
- Check your oil.
- Don't give us rules.
- Don't fake it. We'd rather be ineffective than deceived.
- It is neither in your best interest or ours to take the Cosmo quiz
- Anything we said 6 or 8 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. All
comments become null and void after 2 days.
- If you don't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to
act like soap opera guys.
- If something we said could be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways
makes you sad and angry, we meant the other one.
- Let us ogle. If we don't look at other women, how can we know how pretty
- Don't rub the lamp if you don't want the genie to come out.
- You can either ask us to do something OR tell us how you want it done, not
- Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
- Christopher Columbus didn't need directions, and neither do we.
- Women wearing Wonderbras and low cut blouses lose their right to complain
about having their boobs stared at.
- Consider Golf a mini vacation from you. We need it, just like you do.